the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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