I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Enjoy the penises
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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