pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
