Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
