bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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