I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
