Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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