This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He better not be in your backpack
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
