ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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