There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
