it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
