get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize