I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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