SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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