you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
