The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
