Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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