Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
