I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
