OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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