she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
