is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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