I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
