So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
