help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
