I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize