I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
