I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
