I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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