Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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