I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
