Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
