new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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