what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
