I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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