Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
