If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
