Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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