Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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