i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
