can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
