how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
