Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
