my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
