i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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