I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
