I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize