So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
