Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
50% drunk capacity currently
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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