life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I will be naked everywhere
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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