at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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