Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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