When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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