On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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