Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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