so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Girls should come with a carfax report
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
