Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
