Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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