i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
