Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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